Thursday, December 28, 2006

CSI: Buderim

I learnt an important lesson about chopping boards on Christmas day to the detriment of my taste buds. More about that later.

Meanwhile, I made my 23rd CD purchase today. It’s my first 100% bona-fide skiphop CD. Skiphop? Yea, I was just as bemused. From what I’ve been able to determine it’s basically just hiphop from Australia, which apparently warrants it a whole separate section in the record store. It’s a fun, if tacky, moniker for the genre, and I’m assuming it’s got a light-hearted name since nobody can take a rapper with an Australian accent seriously. Especially when he’s spouting such corkers as ‘We ain’t sic, boy we just seem crook’ and ‘You’re best to believe in the Muph!’ (rock out mister Tom – you hear me!). I parted with my $25 at JB HiFi and came away clutching ‘Hunger Pains’ by Muph and Plutonic. I’d finally lost my skiphop virginity.

The cats have been treating us to a selection of local wildlife over the past few days, most notably the HUGE TARANTULA that turned up on Christmas Eve. Granted it’s not the largest I’ve seen in Australia, not by a long shot. But this one was IN MY HOUSE. Well, on the window. Forensic evidence suggests the following events led to the discovery of the spider: At some time between 4am (when the cats get let out of the house) and 8am (when the cats come in for food) one of them spotted the victim and initiated some kind of chase/battle during which the victim suffered the loss of three legs. This has been backed up by the lack of amputated legs visible around the crime scene. Cat X then brought the victim to the house, deposited it somewhere, and got bored. The victim managed to evade cat X and scampered up a wall and hid behind the massive thermometer that leans against the window. At approx 8.30am my mother discovered the victim. Apart from the amputated legs, the victim appeared to be of good health, and after a photo shoot for the records (from a very cautious distance, since these buggers can *move* when they want to) it was deposited into the forestland behind the house, and a swift retreat was made. Christ, I’ve managed to spin that out a bit. Here’s a shot of the beast. For reference purposes, that thermometer is about 8 inches long.

Exhibit A - the victim

Exhibit B - a suspect

So the chopping board lesson:

When you’re chopping the kiwifruit for a fruit pavlova, ensure you use a different side of the chopping board to the one that you’d used to chop the onions on the night before. That way, when you’re serving up your delicious desert on Christmas day, you don’t realise with abject horror when you take a bite along with the other family and friends that you’ve just dished up a strawberry, kiwi, onion and fresh cream pavlova for desert. The perfect way to round off Christmas dinner. Pass the gravy.

Some fungus

Some shoes


Anonymous said...

the shoes are the wrong way round!

Anonymous said...

approve my post damn you....don't make me come over there :o\

Anonymous said...

Ho ho ho merry xmas and a happy new year to my favourite slag whore bitch face!!! Loving your blog so far you naughty slut.